I’ll probably be writing a lot more about this topic. But for now, here’s the deets on my situation:
I started dating a guy named Matt that I met on Tinder in early January. Our first date was at this place near my house—(which is now closed actually, I hope that’s not a bad omen?!)
Anyways, we’ve been dating since then. At the time I was diagnosed with cancer we had been dating for exactly 5 months and 18 days. On top of that, Matt’s work relocated him overseas in early June for about 4 months. So he’s still there….
I had been keeping him filled in on everything, biopsy, potential cancer diagnosis looming. I don’t think either of us really believed I had cancer.
The day I was diagnosed, he was the 4th person I told—after my friend Lauren (also diagnosed), mom and dad. We face timed. At first he thought I was joking. I wish I was joking….
Anyways, he’s been pretty amazing so far in terms of support, even though he’s overseas. He’s also had to deal with me the most. We text a lot and I pretty much am always giving him a running update of what I’m going through, my feelings, frustrations, etc. I don’t know why he still talks to me actually. Haha
I’m not sure what my cancer treatments will do to my self-esteem. I fully trust my plastic surgeon but it is a process and something that I think will be challenging to a new relationship.
Regardless, I know he’s a strong person, and so am I, so I think we’ll get through it.
Words of Advice From Matt:
Matt gives good advice that really helps me. So I’ve written a couple bits of it down here so that others can potentially benefit. I have paraphrased what he’s said since I don’t remember the exact wording, but you’ll get the gist.
On Adjusting to Cancer Diagnosis:
When we started dating, you had cancer. Throughout our entire relationship you had cancer. You were living a full-life before you knew you had cancer and you can still continue to live a full-life. The only thing that’s changed is that now you know. Even though it’s scary, it’s actually a change for the better, because now you’re going to get the necessary treatment you need.
Living with Cancer Day to Day:
Your ability stay positive will impact how you feel day to day. You may not have complete control over your feelings, but you can control your overall perspective by focusing on what you can control like courses of treatment and how to tell work. By focusing on things like that, you maximize the control you have. Don’t focus on the unknown, because then you will get overwhelmed. You are a naturally positive person, and there is no reason for that to change because you will get through this.